Now ask someone else to do the same -- a handy coworker, an e-mail correspondent. Your definitions will be different, though there might be some overlap in one or two concepts.

The topic of love was ignored by scientific research until the 1960s. In the few decades since, we have learned that love defies narrow definition. Perhaps the poets and composers could have told us this! "Love" is, in brief, what the lover considers it to be. How do you know if what you feel is really "love"?

The short answer, based on psychological research, is that you cannot "know" that an experience is love according to some external standard; even your best friend probably defines love differently from you. What are the words that best define love for you? What features best distinguish love from other emotions and experiences? Once you have spent a minute or two considering your concept of love, move on to the next Activity!



In the 20-item list below, choose the terms that, for you, best describe the experience of "love." Yes, the list leaves out many possibilities but your selections will allow us to compare your description to others'.

1. trust
yes    no

2. scary
yes    no

3. caring
yes    no

4. dependency
yes    no

5. honesty
yes    no

6. uncertainty
yes    no

7. friendship
yes    no

8. butterflies in stomach
yes    no

9. respect
yes    no

10. see only other's good qualities
yes    no

11. concern for other's well-being
yes    no

12. gazing at the other
yes    no

13. loyalty
yes    no

14. euphoria
yes    no

15. commitment
yes    no

16. heart rate increases
yes    no

17. acceptance
yes    no

18. energy
yes    no

19. supportiveness
yes    no

20. thinking about other all the time
yes    no
 
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