Love as an Attitude
Related to the idea that it is our evaluation of our arousal that determines what we call love is the notion that love or being in love is an evaluative reaction we have, an attitude. Attitudes refer to feelings but also thoughts and behaviors. Researcher Zick Rubin argues that if you love someone, your loving evaluation of that person shows up in how you feel, think and act. Other types of attitudes -- such as liking rather than loving someone -- would reflect different patterns of evaluation.

Before going on, try this exercise:


Think about the one you love for a moment. If you currently have no Significant Other, think of a past love, or perhaps of someone you'd like to love. Imagining that person's name in the blank, rate your response to each of the following items from 1 ("strongly disagree") to 7 ("strongly agree").

1. I think that _____ is unusually well-adjusted.

  1     2    3    4    5    6    7

2. If I could never be with _____ , I would be miserable.

  1     2    3    4    5    6    7

3. I think that _____ is one of those people who quickly wins respect.

  1     2    3    4    5    6    7

4. I feel very possessive toward _____.

  1     2    3    4    5    6    7

5. I think that _____ and I are quite similar to each other.

  1     2    3    4    5    6    7

6. I would do almost anything for _____.

  1     2    3    4    5    6    7

7. I have great confidence in _____'s good judgment.

  1     2    3    4    5    6    7

8. I feel I can confide in _____ about virtually anything.

  1     2    3    4    5    6    7

9. _____ is the sort of person I myself would like to be.

  1     2    3    4    5    6    7

10. One of my greatest concerns is ___'s welfare.

  1     2    3    4    5    6    7

 
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